Haven't written in a while so here whats happened. The 'dishy' guy I said about in my dorm in Singapore..we've ended up going to Malaysia together. When we got to Melaka, he bumped into 2 people he worked with in AUS. So we're with them. Its kinda weird because I don't know them..and they all know each other so I'm pretty much excluded from most conversation. I wish I was here with a friend.
In Melaka we went out to dinner at this place where the owners were doing cheesy performances of cheesy songs. Hilarious. One guy was playing bongos to pass off the backing beats as his own.
In KL now. This hostel looks like a parking lot. Its just one big room with about 20 beds round the outside. Went drinking last night. Ended up in this 'Beatles bar' where there were a few old-ish men doing kareoke, drunk. We drank and had shisha.
Where next? I duno..I miss making music..so much.
Alright, first breakdown. Shit. Can't stop crying. This guy in my dorm just came up to me and said 'its ok?' aw. Today I was fine. I wandered about the markets and stuff. I was great. What the hell changed?! These 3 people I'm with..they all know each other, I'm like the outcast..so awkward! I can't include myself in any conversation, we were just sat drinking and I started thinking about everyone I miss. I just phoned Sean in my state, was so good hearing his voice. The thing about being out here alone is that you can't just go see a friend when you're feeling down.
Theres someone sleeping..oops. I'm probably pissing them off with my pathetic weeping. I'm so weak, SO weak. I can't even go 2 months alone?! I miss the jungle, and everyone there. I miss home and making music. But I've enjoyed this trip so much until tonight. I don't know what the hell has gone wrong. I feel so alone. I AM alone. No one here knows me at all. I thought I was getting close to Yanik, but these past few days, since we've been with his friends, he won't even make conversation with me. When I try and start one he just shrugs. Doesn't care. No one does here.. argh! I can't even read what I just wrote!
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